blackberry pearls

August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

REST in peace.

It's been a very difficult day. Saying goodbye to a legend is always hard. With all the conversations focused on the best entertainer of all time, I decided to reflect on my favorite MJ songs (today, tomorrow's list might be different).

1. Rock With You
2. Man In The Mirror
3. Enjoy Yourself
4. Heartbreak Hotel (This Place Hotel)
5. I Can't Help It
6. Butterflies
7. Where You Are
8. I Want You Back
9. Billie Jean
10. Got To Be There
11. Lovely One
12. Show You The Way To Go
13. Lady In My Life
14. Farewell My Summer Love
15. Break of Dawn
16. Never Can Say Goodbye
17. Don't Stop Till You Get Enough
18. I'll Be There
19. Liberian Girl
20. Who's Loving You

A little over a year ago as I closed in on the completion of the second full draft of my novel, The Skinny, I stumbled upon a website of a writing coach name Jacqui Lofthouse. Her blog was interesting and her ideas about writing seemed to take writing serious, but also light enough that I didn't feel like a total slouch for taking four years to get this novel done.

I read some of her advice and downloaded a free copy of the first five days of her eBook on writing. At the time, I was writing pretty hot and nearing the end of a long rewrite and looking forward to workshopping the novel, not writing. I finished the revision, entered it in the Emory Goes Novel contest and was named a finalist. I then workshopped the novel on the Cape and got tons of feedback.

Then August came and I planned to begin draft #3 but didn't write anything. There are lots of reasons why: I wasn't feeling well; I was confused about where to begin; it had been a long summer; the fall was busy; my day job was hectic; my house was loud; I was lazy--all excuses, all true. The fact remains that I didn't write. In January I made New Year's Resolutions. Number 1: Finish the novel. Nothing happened. I just didn't write.

Honestly, the whole idea I beginning yet another rewrite was just too overwhelming. It was so much easier to do nothing, and so I did nothing. Then in April I started a photoblog to get my creativity flowing and of course, as always, that got me wanting to write. School ended last week and now All I have is downtime and while planning my summer I was flipping through an old notebook and I found the copy of Jacqui Lofthouse's first five days. At that point I had nothing to lose. I wasn't writing anything.

At least with her program I'd get 1000 words on the page. Yes, it might be bad. I was almost sure it would be very bad considering that I hadn't written a word connected to the novel in a year, but last Thursday I started the quest to write 30,000 words in 30 days. I decided that if I put down 30,000 words on draft #3, in a months' time I would be 30,000 words closer to finally finishing this novel.

I just finished Day 6 and I have more than 9000 words written. I'm simply free-writing and so I can't guarantee that it's any good, but it's 9k more words than I had written last week this time and right now that better than any other attempts I've made in over a year.

I posted a word meter to show my progress and I'll try to post frequent updates.

Q

Okay, I admit it. My blogging has been erratic, at best. I have lots of ideas but they never make it to the blog. But summer is almost here and I've been planning for the long days. I hope to take a writing class on structuring the novel--something I am still struggling with, and I've also dedicated the summer to taking better photographs. I have a 35mm film camera that's been collecting dust and a digital that I just do know how to turn on. So, this is the summer to learn everything there is to know about pictures. And for the second time on a blog I am challenging myself to take pictures every day and post one for the world to see. I've even set up a photoblog at aminus3. Click here to take a look.

Q

Ray-Ray. No matter what the standings are, no matter what kind of streak the Cavs or the Lakers put together, the Celtics are still the team to beat. Everyone who knows me knows I love basketball and there's no greater basketball player than the original number 23, the always amazing MJ, the always imitated, never quite duplicated Air Jordan. But, the star of Jordan's latest Jumpman commercial--Become Legendary--the one and only, Ray-Ray added to his legend last night.

Jordan's Bobcats were in the Garden and you never sleep on a team led by Jordan and Larry Brown and for at least three of the four quarters in regulation the Cats had the Celts by the clover and luck had left the building. But as the time ran down in the fourth, who found a way to put the ball in the basket? Ray-Ray. And then with time running down in the first overtime who nailed the trey? Ray-Ray. And even after a sorry looking air ball that didn't even come close to anything but air and had me wondering what could have happened to make Walter Ray put up such a shot, who came through with a spot-up three from the corner with only 2.1 left on the clock in overtime no. 2? His name is Ray-Ray, Ray-Ray. (Ya'll know I love that song . . .).

Hey, but it's not just me. Paul Pierce knows it too.

"His confidence is through the roof regardless if he's missed two, three, or four hundred shots in a row, he always feels like the next one is going to go in," Pierce said. "I'll proclaim Ray the greatest shooter in the history of the NBA that I've ever seen."

His name is Ray-Ray, Ray-Ray . . .

With the election over, I'm back to watching basketball, Celtics basketball. It's either Celtics or Pistons. No other team will do. Last night it was the Cs on ESPN. A so-called rivalry game with the upstart Atlanta Hawks. I'll just say I agree with Kevin Garnett when he says, it's not a rivalry until the other team wins a few. The Hawks haven't yet won one when it counts. No rivalry here.

Celtics-Pistons: That's a rivalry. Just ask my six-year-old nephew. He's a Pistons fan (actually he's a Tayshaun fan) and when Detroit and Boston square off he and I usually end up in an argument. I still love the Pistons and it goes without saying that I love my nephew, but when the Celts won the most recent showdown (November 20) in Beantown, I could hardly wait until the next morning to inform him that his Bad Boys lost! (His bedtime came nearing the end of the first quarter with the outcome still in doubt and the Iverson Added Pistons still with a chance).

Celtics-Lakers: Some say that's a rivalry or at least Kobe Bean thinks so. All I know it that it was once a rivalry. We'll see what happens on Christmas Day.

Rivalries aside, the Celtics are on a serious streak. Sixteen straight wins in the NBA is no small feat, especially when you're the reigning World Champions and you have a target bigger than the Target Center on your back. KG, Ray, Paul and Rondo all had something to prove last year. KG said it best as the confetti rained down in them in the Garden "What can you say now?" But it seems that others have had plenty to say this year as they give all praise the the Cavs and Lakers, leaving the Celtics success as an afterthought.

But they're still winning. It won't last always. As a Celtic said earlier this week, they don't expect to go 80-2, but they want to get better as a team and position themselves to hang banner #18. Last night was win #16, a hard fought W against a confident Atlanta team. The Celtics showed why they're still the team to beat. And yes, winning itself can be a heavy load. But if you talk to any player or even a fan of the game, winning always feels a lot lighter than losing. Ask Ray Allen. When questioned about the Celtics' winning streak last night he said,

"Sometimes it seems as though it's a burden. That monkey grows. It's a good monkey though."

Wouldn't trade it for the world, (unless that included another World Championship, of course.)

Q

Nothing
can stand in the way
of the power of millions of voices
calling for change . . .

-Barack Obama, New Hampshire, January 2008

I finally sat down and read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. After hearing all the praise in the media, and more importantly on the recommendation of many readers and writers (Michele, Leslie, Daniel) I pulled the copy from my bookshelf and started to read. I'll just add that I bought the book back in December.

It took about three days to read it (one section per day) and I must admit that I enjoyed the "Eat"/Italy section the most. I think that says more about me than anything about Elizabeth Gilbert or her writing. More than anything else, I could relate to her decision to not have children and her analysis of the predicament that puts women in, even in 2008, even in America--"the land of the free". As a woman who has chosen that path I am all to familiar with the odd looks, the accusations of selfishness, and the very real fear and feelings of displacement/out-of-placeness that comes with what is still an uncommon choice. She articulates the difficulty of the situation better than anyone I've known or read on this point. I often find myself trying to describe it to friends or even put it to words in my writing and I almost never get it right or am able to get to the heart of it. Elizabeth does get to the heart of it in the first section of the book and returns to it again when she meets the young girl at the Ashram and again when she meets Wayan and Tutti in Bali.

Overall, it's a touching, well-rendered story, and a well-written memoir.

Q

While browsing this morning, I came across this wonderful article about the love of books by Alberto Manguel. I'm always amazed to find others who love books as much as I do, and amused that others have storage issues greater than mine.

I've spent the last six months trying to create a managable space for my books. More than half of my collection remains in storage, but even the decisions about what goes to storage and what gets to stay is agonizing. Every week I end up going back to storage for that one book I need right now. It's insane.

I found Manguel's piece on his ever growing library to be both entertaining and imspiring.

Happy reading and writing,

Q

When the year started, I had one thing on my mind--finish this draft of the novel. Well, I accomplished that last month and so I began wondering about my summer. I'd applied to a few places earlier this year. No residencies (that's a project for next summer or a summer to come), just a few workshops that will allow me to commune with other writers. So I applied to one or two along with my submissions to literary magazines and a handful of contests. I hadn't heard from any and so I was getting a little anxious. Then I checked my mail late last night and there it was--a message from my new best friend, Dorothy, informing me that I have been awarded a scholarship for a week at the Fine Arts Work Center! I was pleasantly surprised, mostly because I applied on a whim after my friend Nadine told me about a great class being offered by one of my favorite writers. So, I'm going back to Mass. after all these years. I may even hang out in Boston for a few days before--just for fun. I haven't been to Beantown in sixteen years! Time really does fly.

I have one other one that I'm waiting on. You know, the usual, watching the mailboxes, but I'm also trying to think through my approach to what I hope will be the final draft of this novel. I want to begin June 1.

I do have a few distractions . . . a cute futbol player and the NBA playoffs (some loves are forever). As long as Tayshaun and KG are still in it, I'm watching. And as much as I like Joe Smith I can't cheer for him while he's wearing a Cavs uni. Go Celts! I don't know what I'm going to do when Boston and Detroit meet in the East Finals.

Happy Writing,

Q

I finished the 3rd draft of the novel at 5:12 PM. I'm not 100% satisfied with it as a complete novel, but it is closer to the story I'm trying to tell than ever before. I got the length down from 459 pages to a more manageable 345. I will take a break from it for a week or two and then begin draft number 4.

May 1 was the deadline for this draft because it was the deadline for my full submission to Emory Goes Novel, Emory University's novel writing contest. I submitted the opening chapters in February and learned in March that I made the short list and was named a top ten finalist. That pushed the final draft deadline to May 1. It was a lot of work and a lot of stress to get it done, but I made it!

My challenge now is to regroup and take on what I hope will be the final draft. I'm excited about where I want to take it. It's still a great story and I hope that one day soon I will have the opportunity to share it with the world.

Reading: Charles Baxter's The Art of Subtext

Happy reading!

Q

Last night, while talking on the phone with my friend, Alicia, I decided to shut down my computer for the night and I closed the most recent draft of the re-vision (the draft I'd been working on every waking moment for the past three days). Because I'm paranoid about computers, and out of sheer habit, I immediately went to the desktop to re-open it--something I just do, I can't explain why. It wasn't there. I did a search for it and found nothing. Alicia said goodbye so she could go give her daughter a bath and I hung up almost before she finished her last sentence. I had changed the name to EGNDraft two days before but I hadn't emailed it to myself (which is what I most often do as back up).

I did the search again, hoping that I'd just overlooked it. It had to be there. I knew this because while typing the last few chapters I was clicking save at the end of every paragraph even though the autosave was working just fine. Nothing, no where. I got that sinking feeling and began to wonder what in the world I was going to do if the last three days of work were gone. The only draft I could find was the draft from last Thursday night (before I'd changed the document name).

I grabbed my notebook and went next door to ask my mother and sister to look for it. Another set of eyes is always good. They couldn't find it. I'm sure my sister could see the look of panic on my face. I'd been buried in this rewrite for the past month. I had nothing in longhand, only a few sparse notes about some Coltrane dates and basic plot changes. Which wouldn't be much help since I had changed much of the ending and written most of the last three days off the top of my head. And I hadn't done line editing since Thursday and so nothing had been printed out.

She took one look at what had to be look of absolute helplessness and called her friend Julius. Julius is the king of computers. It's his job somehow. I couldn't even begin to tell you what he does exactly, but he is my family's Geek Squad. Up until now, my requests have been simple, "Will you help me add a memory card?" or "Which system is better for this or that?" He is always helpful, always gracious--even when he's probably thinking "You've got to be kidding?" It's my former sister-in-law and my mother who have the more demanding calls to Julius when their harddrive has crashed or been infected by spyware. But last night, I was happy to hear Julius on the other end of the phone. "Relax. We'll find it," he said, and we did. After searching places I didn't know existed on my computer, he walked me through a search that brought up a string of temporary files. I opened a folder and there it was. I have never in my life been so happy to see that little Word document icon--EGNDraft. I could have cried. All I managed was an emphatic "Thank you" and an offer to buy dinner (I don't cook). He was as gracious as ever.

Honestly, as I write this and consider that I could have lost it, I'm still a little shaky. I don't think I would have made it out of bed this morning if I hadn't found that draft. Thank God for Julius!

Happy writing!
Q

It's only been forever since I've written a blog, but the good news is that I've been writing. I spent all of Spring Break writing the revision. It's coming along.

I spent a few hours on Chapter 16 yesterday and I had one of those gifts from the muse. I was adding a new scene to the chapter and I knew where Tia and Turo were, but honestly, I didn't have a clue as to what they were supposed to do next to get them where they need to be in Chapter 17. But I began typing anyway. They made their way to a storage closet and although I had no idea that they were going there or even what they might find, I went with it. Surprise, suddenly I knew exactly why they were there and what it would mean to the rest of the story. In a matter of minutes I had them out of the closet and on their way to the next critical scene. I read it again this morning and I'm still amazed at how the scene unfolded. I guess all the writers, teachers and writing teachers are right. Writers write and there are no real tricks. You just sit your butt in the chair and write or die trying.

Happy Wednesday and happy writing! I have one week until my deadline (May 1) to finish this draft (number 4). I'm trying to focus, no basketball playoffs, no baseball, and no cutie soccer (oops, I mean) "futbol" players. It's novel time.

Au revoir,
Q

Okay, so I was working diligently on the revision at five a.m. and I started to wonder what was on page 123 of the two previous drafts of this novel-in-flux (because change is not always progress). Out of sheer curiosity I pulled up the other drafts.

Page 123 in the 400+ page draft that I workshopped in Paris and forced four unsuspecting writers to read, goes like this:

“Did I like it? Of course I did.”4 “What did you like about it?”5 And that was where she was lost.6 She always wanted to say it was pretty but the truth was that it wasn’t always pretty.7 Sometimes the intensity and forcefulness of the sound was anything but pretty but it was her son and she loved every note that fell from his horn because she was his mother and she was proud of him, besides, everyone loved Turo’s music.8

In the scene Cassie Maxwell is musing over a conversation she once had with her husband about a song her youngest son had composed and shared with them.

Page 123 in the first complete draft that I wrote in six weeks of morning pages that only my sister and my first reader Michele suffered through, goes like this:

“Mark my words.5 Lena will rue the day.6 That man has evil eyes.”7 Then Me-Ma took the only picture showing Alistair Drake’s dark blue eyes and stuffed it in the pocket of her blue gingham house dress.8

In the scene Taffy Brown remembers her grandmother’s first impression of Alistair Drake from a photo Selena’s sent home informing them of her impromptu marriage. It’s amazing how so much is contained in a few lines.

Q

It has been much too long, but in order to get back into the swing of things, I pick up an interesting tag from Erika over at Practicing Writing.

The directions are as follows: Go to page 123 of a work of fiction closest to you (within reach). Locate the fifth sentence on the page. Post that sentence and the three that follow. Explain.

I chose the Re-Vision since that's what my world revolves around and because of my urgent need to finish this, it is always within reach. Strangely enough, at this particular moment there isn’t a published piece of fiction on my desk. So, I’ll use mine. Page 123 is the beginning of the second section in Chapter 8. Turo has a work address for a woman called Tia, whom he's almost sure is his childhood friend, Starletta Drake, and he has decided to go see for himself.

Here are the sentences:

He had not yet called her, telling himself instead to wait until he was in the building.5 It was just after noon when he locked his car and walked back down seventeenth to the front of the glass-paneled high-rise.6 Inside, the red, brown, and golden hues of the patterned granite and marble brought to mind seventh grade math manipulatives.7 He searched the lobby for a courtesy phone or an information desk.8

Not the most interesting four sentences, but four sentences that in the end turn out to be central to the novel. Since I’m still in revision mode everything is tentative and these sentences are no exception. I hope to keep them but some plot changes may find them on the cutting floor.

And in the tradition I tag Nadine, Glenna and Jada, if they happen to check in.

Happy Writing,
Q

"The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just. A true revolution of values will lay hand on the world order and say of war, 'This way of settling differences is not just.'"

Martin Luther King Jr. in The Trumpet of Conscience (1967)

Contrary to what Camp Hillary wants us all to think, the Obama train is picking up speed. You know this for sure when superdelegates are jumping ship, celebs are one-upping one another (Russel & Kimora) and Gray's Papaya endorses the previously unknown.

Gray's Papaya is New York's very famous if not most famous hot dog eatery and although I was never a hot dog fan, I did visit GP a few times while living in The City. Here's to Gray's! The best dogs and the right choice! I hope everyone in Texas, Vermont, Ohio & Rhode Island make safe trips to the polls and back today.

Obama'08

Q

Tonight, we know one thing for sure -- our time has come, our movement is real, and change is coming to America.

At this moment in history, the stakes are too high and the challenges too great to play the same Washington game with the same Washington players and expect a different result.

This time must be different.

There will be those who say it cannot be done. But we know what we have seen and what we believe -- that when ordinary people come together we can still do extraordinary things.

Yes, we can.

Thank you so much,
Barack